Happiness

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Wishing to be happy has always been one of my priorities in life, but it is not often achievable, is it? Occasionally gullible and easily distracted, I often try to find the best in things and make the best of it, however lately things just seem to be hovering just above the surface of hot water. Happiness comes in many forms, as we are all aware of, some may find joy in ice cream while some may find pure bliss cuddling into the arms of someone. What most of us do not realise is some happiness is not to be sought after but to be discovered within. I have a greater interest in the pursuit of inner happiness where you are content with everything you have. This makes it easy to pass the happiness around cause when you are happy, you exude a certain aura that is detectable even by the heinous of beings.(btw the magic of smile spreads...so spread 'em!)

Personally, i do not think it is possible to be happy 24/7, maybe unless you're God. but then again, He is probably upset with what we are doing with our lives daily, what with pollution, crimes and torture that we inflict upon others and nature. If only happiness can be bottled up and shipped around the world for all to enjoy, then no one has to suffer, no one has to realise what pain is, no one has to undergo the various forms of which pain manifests as. Because really, pain comes when you have lost your loved ones in a tragic accident, pain comes when you know you cant have what you want, pain comes when you have the constant fear of not being able to accomplish something, pain comes when you have a fear, pain comes when you feel all alone and worst of all, pain comes when there is nowhere you could turn to in times of distress.(pain also comes when your pain receptors detect them and sends them to your brain, but that's physical pain) I honestly feel inner pain hurts much more than physical ones.

When 2010 came about, I was told that it was not going to be a smooth year for us Monkeys, though not all Monkeys experience the same things. But it was true, for me at least..there were alot of mental, physical, emotional, social, and psychological hardships that i faced and still facing. My physical hardship is healing, my emotional and psychological condition has had better days and is recovering rather slowly. To those who probably knew what i mean, it is hard for me to let go of the past cause I'm the kind who practically superglues it permanently to myself and it hurts to yank it off.

But just as I was about to have another breakdown, I discovered many things that made me happy, one baby step at a time. For one, I just recently became an aunt, which is an equally rewarding feeling. There's a sense of humility, togetherness, pride, joy and love towards a being that is so new to this world. I always get excited when I see my nephew. I still remember the first time i carried him in my arms, it was also the first time I ever carried a newborn. My heart pounded like mad and I looked at the being in my arms, who was so helpless and yet so peaceful. To top it all off, my GP lecturer will be giving us an assignment after our mid-course exam which is the Egg Baby! She practically married us to one another and wil be giving us an egg which we have to take care of for a week and I really do mean take care, as in bathing, dressing, feeding etc. By the end of the week we have to hand in a report of our activities for a week, babysitting log, baby expenses(diapers, baby lotion, baby oil) and even write a letter to our baby. I got so excited after hearing this and immediately ran to my assigned husband to name our daughter>>Jolie Chong En Hui, nice?? hhahahahahahaha...there's even the chinese characters of the name haha. I still am excited as I'm typing here with my brain figuring out how it is that I'm going to build some sort of carrier to carry my daughter for a week to every lecture, tutorial and even the loo..hmm


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